Full of Thanks

This day of Thanksgiving, (the truth of the word that so many people have seemed to have realized this year) I am full of thanks. 

I don't need to be overly-eloquent or write a lot about it.  My feelings are deep and content. 

I started ballet at age 11.
Age 11! 

I fell in love with ballet from the moment I started.  There was a pull, a charm.  I remember my first class and the teacher demonstrating a simple changement.  I was entrance, flabbergasted.  My concentration on her feet is still ingrained in my memory.  How was she doing this?  How was it humanly possibly?!  

Secretly I wanted to think that I could do this fantastic thing, ballet - even though I was quite frank in my mind about it being a long shot.  I had started ballet to attempt to achieve some degree of flexibility, (my hands only reached my knees!) and I remember a conversation with my mom about it being a hobby and how the little school from where I was taking classes was only to facilitate a hobby and not to make "prima ballerinas".  I agreed with her, and yet there were tears in my eyes and an ache in my heart that couldn't be pushed away.  Subconsciously, there was only one thing that I felt I was meant to do.  That's pretty powerful, you know. 

Ballet class for me was a complete oasis.  I thought of nothing else - everything else melted away into oblivion.  It took several years for me to become serious and at that time I had no hope whatsoever of achieving my goals.  We lived in an area far from good schools and NYC.  And so a year ago was a dark time.  I had no idea where I was going or what I would do - I saw no future.  It was blank, empty, and seemingly hopeless.  My tears were not in vain, however.  Things fell into place so fast, and I could not have planned them better if I had wanted to.  There were roadblocks to overcome, but now I find myself in a professional school being taught by phenomenal teachers - receiving wonderful instruction every day.  The sacrifices I make and have made for this pale in comparison to what I am experiencing and learning.  I pinch myself by the minute - as it is still surreal, and just try to work harder every single day - in the attempt to achieve the height of coordination, grace, flexibility, strength, power - in short, perfection.  And what it took to make it here, now - and what it is going to take to continue to grow and climb - there are no words for it.

There is only humble gratitude for what I have - right now.  Words cannot express it - only feeling - the same feeling that is used to convey this human athletic and artistic expression on the stage.  One day! 

Happy Thanksgiving and gratitude to all for their love and support.  Enjoy the long weekend and time off!