Chain reaction

(January 2011...)


"I saw the nicest thing in the subway tonight..."

I wrote that last night as a draft of this post that you're reading now.  It was interesting how it all happened.  I entered the subway just as the train was pulling up.  Instead of entering the first car that presented itself like I could have, I chose to walk ahead 2 more cars after a blonde-haired woman.  I entered the train and sat down on a seat 4 seats over from the end of the row on the left side.  A man in dress pants and shirt with a windbreaker type jacket and tan workman-type snow boots was sitting one seat over from me, to my left.  On his left was a bag and red backpack on top of it, occupying a whole seat.  He sat with his legs apart, drinking a Dunkin' Doughnuts brand iced coffee with a straw - a rather large size that was more than half empty.  He was holding it more than drinking it, really - and it seemed to have more ice than coffee.

When I came over to sit down, I could feel his pleasant awareness of someone coming near his area - as all humans somehow react to another individual entering their space.  I know he gave out a smile, but I didn't make eye contact with him.  On public transportation you get a very good sense of feeling people - their emotions, feelings, and other very complex unspoken communication.  But you also get to understand that your eyes are not eyes to wander or make unnecessary eye contact out and about.  I more just felt his presence sitting there.  It hadn't even been a moment - probably less than 3 seconds upon entering the train car - when I became aware of excessive physical motion and movement by him.  On the next stop I moved nearly directly across from him in a new space created by the exit of someone at the past stop, just one seat over from the woman I had entered with, and continued to intently observe him.  It was funny how almost instantly I was aware that he most probably had Tourette syndrome, without too much of a thought process involvement.

I continued to ascertain his behavior and general aspects.  He was of average build, a bit thin - with very short cut gray hair, glasses, and light eyes.  He was wearing a wedding ring.  I couldn't help noticing his pleasant, calm demeanor despite constant and unfortunate characteristics of the disease - shifting, fidgeting, tics/movement.  Though his brain seemed to be active - if not buzzing - he was very aware of his surroundings in a unique way.  His person was open and pleasant.  He seemed to be content, and not perturbed by anything.   It seemed like he welcomed everyone who entered the car with an embracing glance.  It wasn't out of the ordinary - awkward or strange, but warm - which is not seen "out there" on public transportation  
A wave of sadness came over me when I realized how much of this man was out there for all to see with the syndrome he suffers from.  There was a complacency with him however - as if he was resigned to the whole thing and okay with it.  I noticed several strange glances from passengers, particularly men, at his "behavior", if it can be called that.  You can't be different... sometimes humans can be almost as bad as the way nature treats the runt of a litter.

My despondent thoughts were soon dispelled, however, by the entrance of a woman, well-dressed, with a rather large black suitcase she was pulling.  Attempting to go around the pole in the car to sit, she somehow bumped into him with the suitcase.  I can't remember as to whether he said something first or she did, but it was by was of mutual apology.  He made some remark towards his leg - perhaps hinting at lack of control - I didn't catch it completely.  She sat down next to me.  He made some other conversational remark, and she agreed and laughed.  I wasn't noticing the actual words that they were speaking, as I was more marveling the miraculous - the spontaneous and comfortable connection between these two people.

Another older woman entered and he shifted over a bit with an small inviting gesture indicating the availability of the seat.  She took it gratefully, thanking him.  At this point, we were pulling into my station.  There had been conversation between them, and even more remarkably, suddenly the woman next to me said something all of a sudden to the blonde-haired woman next to her, who had gotten on the train just before me.  Then, she introduced herself, extending her hand "I'm M___", and the other responded, "I'm ___".  The first, Ms. M__, remarked "I got to meet someone today!"  Suddenly they were chatting together - in conversation as if they were friends that had chanced to meet each other on the subway.  The man gathered up his bags and stood up, with the obvious intent to get off at the same stop I was getting off.  It had been such a simple social specimen of strangers connecting, but had blossomed, like a beautiful flower, into a chain reaction, unstoppable and continuing.  It was one of the most beautiful things I had ever witnessed - completely unexpected and unplanned.  "It" had happened on its own and without restraint.  His warmth toward others inevitably spilled over and spread like a virus.  It would not be stopped.

He filled the car with light, his personal content and happiness as we prepared to get off.  The woman who had been sitting next to him shifted over to the spot where his bags had been.  "It's the best spot", she explained, smiling.  And so we were all smiling as he walked off of train to the exit and I to the other, beaming.  The two women were chatting energetically in the train car behind us.  I reflected upon the whole thing as I walked away.  Rare is it that I am affected by such external events resulting in unsuppressed happiness.  It would be a flat and dry thing to say that this made my night - for it did so much more.  The fact that one person could spread so much light and joy by simple, everyday actions- interaction and a giving nature - and make me smile with a true joy behind it, like I hadn't smiled before - that was deeper than I could express.  His life as such, through actions simple though they may be, is a worthy and profound existence.

Here is a man who has to show all of himself to the world, out and about in New York City, on public transportation.  Probably almost no one ever realizes his physical condition, and the strange looks will come from everywhere without them understanding the reason.  But you can't just glance at the surface, you must go beyond that, deeper.  He's one of us - but he goes the extra mile, and he has hope in the cross he carries.  He wore a wedding ring - I know he has a wife, and blessed and lucky woman, at home who loves him - and I hope she cherishes him, for he is a rare gem in the examples of humankind.

God bless you, Sir.  I don't know your name, but will always remember with fond emotion what you gave to the subway car of the 1 train a little after 7PM yesterday.  I'm sorry that as a young woman I'm guarded and reserved as most New Yorkers on public transportation, shut down to interaction and the sharing of our coinciding moments in this great life, but I know my way of thought on that has been forever changed.  In the words of Ivy Baker, "Keep shining, my bright and shining star of a friend".